I KNOW you've all had a morning like the one I've had. I'm not special, I know that. I'm just like every other mom out there who, at certain times, actually tip-toes around their children so as to not set off that completely irrational, totally out of left field, defcon-5, temper tantrum. I swear, the more you avoid it, fear it and tip-toe around it, the more 'they' sense it and explooooooooood into alien beings. They become a whirlwind of legs and hands flailing all over in rapid motion. It's freaky.
'Did I really give birth to an alien?' I think to myself sometimes. Who in their right mind would sign up for this? No one told me that childres could turn into something out of the Exorcist and that some of my days would start off standing in a pool of tears! (Because c'mon, I'm a mom. As soon as that little thing pops out, I'm handed my Mother's Guilt Association membership card. From that point on, everything my child does wrong, every tantrum, every tear expressed, I'm convinced it has something to do with me and what I did wrong. It's all my fault, how can I fix a clearly broken child, that I broke?!)
So I cried this morning. Huge, fat, snotty tears.
And here I am, reeling from this mega temper tantrum induced crying episode, trying to figure out how I can survive motherhood. (Seriously, for unsuspecting mom's to be, we really should rethink the phrase 'Terrible Two's' and replace it with something totally more accurate, like "Armageddon Two's". If you can survive it and come out on the other side as one, mentally capable, socially functioning happy human being, then baby, you're gonna be A-OK!)
If your mornings sound in any way shape or form like mine, I think I figured out though one small solution that may (or may not) help, and is definitely worth a college try. Find a little spot. It doesn't have to be big, it can be super small, small enough to fit you and ONLY you! Kids get out! This spot is somewhere where you can be alone, and begin the practice of meditation. (Now I'm not a full-on spiritual being. I teeter on the edges, curious to learn/feel more and am certainly open to working on finding solutions to quiet my over-thinking, analytical, run around in circles, make me crazy, mind. So I'm totally game to this, and if you're anything like me and your brain moves in circles, this could work for you too!)
However, I don't have any space. My "home office" is the kitchen table with my laptop and a very unsystematic way of filing things. (Meaning I don't file but instead place scraps of paper in my bag so I can remember things, envision things—Oprah says we all need a vision board—and list things.) This clearly is no space for serenity and peacefulness. A place to sit in quiet, a place to breath, a place to set my mind right after an epic tantrum is really what I need.
Fast forward to this afternoon, while cleaning my room, A-HA! A spot. A space. Albeit super tiny, but a space nonetheless.. and it's allllllll mine! And, small bonus, it's semi hidden from the door and that matters because who really wants to be caught meditating? It's embarrassing enough for me to be spilling my emotional guts all over this blog, but I'm basically faceless to you all—except of course for all the siblings, cousins and friends who subscribe to this I'm not but whatev, they judge and jest just as I would ;)
So without further ado, I happily present to you my solution for enduring the Armageddon Two's (and three's, four's, five's and six's!)